How to make the best lunch sandwich

Gather your ingredients!

Plug in your George Foreman grill to have it heat up. If you don't want to keep your svelte figure, use a non fat-rescuing, inferior grill.

Lay your bread on the plate. Admire the beauty in symmetry.

Add a couple of turkey slices. This is also a good time to make bad jokes to your Turkish coworker about how you are eating his country.

Add in a couple of slices of salami. More meat the merrier.

Just as if the packaged lunch meat didn't have enough sodium to shave off a couple months off your lifespan, add some pickles.

Add some cheese to that bad boy. If there is a single truth to American cuisine, that is that cheese makes everything better.🇺🇸

Mustard is a great condiment, low on calories, high on taste. Also pretty high on sodium but hey, you can only live a hundred years if you stop things that make you want to live a hundred years.

This is what your sandwich looks like when it's not done. You want some grill marks on that bad boy.

Put away your ingredients while you are waiting. Optimizing every single second of your life is a great way to keep your mind off of what really matters.

This is how it is supposed to look when it is ready.

Cut your sandwich into two triangles. This does make your sandwich taste better. Trust me.

Devour your sandwich. As Donnie Darko puts it, destruction is a form of creation.