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How to make love sauce

A yummy recipe plus a true tale of adventure and silliness. Please, go no further if you aren't interested in a few small chuckles and a tasty treat.


This is a true story and a recipe all rolled into one. It requires some reading before the actual recipe. Consider yourself warned.

Once upon a time, in a very big city, there was a fast-food place where a young girl liked to eat. There were only two in this very big city and they were quite a distance from one another.

But both were tasty and enjoyed by the girl. Like a creature of habit, the girl always bought the same thing. A grilled burger on a lightly toasted bun with grated cheddar cheese and Sauce.

Oh, the Sauce. Happiness joined these two: the juicy burger and the Yummy Sauce. And when the girl ate there, she joined in the union....and savored the moment. Then one day the girl moved away.

Far, far away. Like when you discover it is hard to visit as often as you'd like and your heart starts hurting. The body can always move but the heart often remains.

The girl decided that life was only going to be as good as you make it so she decided to make it tasty. Tasty is important. Never forget that.

Burgers, even juicy ones, can be made. Lightly toasted buns, grated sharp cheddar cheese....all these things can be had. But the Sauce!

So on a dark and foggy night, the girl set out to reunite herself with the moment of Happiness between Juicy Burger and they had come to be known. Call it fate. Call it destiny.

Call it desperation on a mission. Yummy Sauce was achieved and forevermore became known far and wide as LOVE SAUCE! (Can you hear the angels singing??)

Love Sauce....a hush falls over the room. Love Sauce....the mouth begins to water. Love Sauce....a smile escapes the lips. Love Sauce.... Reunited with the Juicy Burger!!

And now, many years after a long bout of soul-searching, the girl, almost as young as she was in the former days....only younger now because of the joy in her heart, decided to share....

She decided to share this piece of Happiness with you. You will accomplish this great feat with unexpected ease. You will pass it on to future generations.

You will slather it on your burgers and pile high the mountain of grated cheddar cheese. You will become known far and wide for your great culinary skills.

You will sing my praises....if you don't happen to already. And you will shout with exclamations of joy when the Great Burger Day comes and you can once again make Love Sauce.

Let us get down to business. Are you ready to begin impacting the world with more love? Assemble your supplies and start your engines.

You only need a few supplies to make your great mark in the Book of Tantalizing Tastes.

Start with one cup of your favorite ketchup.

Start with one cup of your favorite ketchup.

Add three tablespoons of liquid smoke.

Add three tablespoons of liquid smoke.

Mix the two together until they are one.   Lick spoon.   You're done.

Mix the two together until they are one. Lick spoon. You're done.

You are now a graduate of my Tantalizing Taste School for Masters. What? Did you forget to turn in the application for acceptance to this great school no-one-anywhere-has-ever-heard-about?

Did you not enclose your check or money order? Are you suggesting you just got all this for free?? I guess I'll let you slide this one time. If you make a deal with me.

Use my Great and Wonderful recipe frequently and herein and forevermore refer to it as the great Love Sauce that it is and spread your fair share of love in the world. Heaven knows, we sure need it!

A message from the Dean of Culinary Education (that's me after all): you may at any time adjust the measurements given. I just wanted to get you on a roll. More, less, whatever you want.

You're the Boss. I only pretend to be the Boss. I found out I don't really like being the Boss. It's too demanding and bossy. It really doesn't pay that well either.

Add the Love Sauce to your juicy burger and be happy.

Add the Love Sauce to your juicy burger and be happy.

Don't forget plenty of yummy cheese and go ahead and add a little puddle of Love Sauce to your plate so you can dip the burger. One can't get enough of the Good Stuff.

  • 1 cup ketchup, a good brand, if you please
  • 3 tablespoons of liquid smoke
  • Bowl
  • Spoon