So, you wanna know how to be a stereotypical but somewhat true Canadian, eh?
Be sarcastic.. I haven't been with very many Canadians that weren't dripping in sarcasm.. Now this isn't a stereotype, this is pretty true.
You must know a basic rundown on a hockey game.. Hockey is our football/ fútbol..
Say "Eh" a lot.. After eh everything eh you eh say eh.
Know what a toque is.. If you don't know its a hat that fits kinda far back on your head.. Almost everyone has one..
Obviously it's cold here. So you need hats such as:
You must have a hat like this. Otherwise you will be kicked out faster than you can say about.
One of your hats must have the word CANADA, you know.. So we don't forget where we are..
This is my favorite hoodie ever.. So I recommend getting one, even if you don't live here.
You must eat poutine at least once. Again you will be kicked out if you haven't eaten it.
This is poutine... It is the most disgustingly delicious thing you will ever eat. It consists if French fries, gravy and cheese. You are always 3 steps away from a heart attack after eating this.
Drink Tim Hortons at least once a week.
Get used to Americans asking you to say words such as: about, house, mouse, broom, douche canoe, bagel, spaghetti, there are tons more.
Unfortunately, I lost a lot of my accent while living in the states... But it's coming back!
Always refer to America as: Canada's pants, Canada's asshole, Canada's pony, the states, that place below us that's just like hell, hell, dip shit land, redneckville. There are so many more.
You can't get lost, because we only have one road..
You ride a polar bear everywhere and live in a igloo..
For example, this is my polar bear.. His name is Elwin Owen Wolowitz the third...
And this is my igloo.. Nice, eh?
Put syrup on everything.. EVERYTHING
Refer to the couch as the Chesterfield.
Have a bag of milk! We have cartons, but those make it taste like cow vagina.. Just sayin..
Refer to Kraft as Kraft.
Eat ketchup Lays!! They're so delicious!!
You must have a Lumberjack beard.. Everyone, including women, has one.
You now know the basics aboot being a Canadian... Congrats
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