Firstly, get yourself a dog.
Next, get the dog to open a bank account, preferably in a country that you cannot pronounce, let alone spell the name of.
If the taxman comes knocking, firstly tell him that you are illiterate and will only converse with him using morse code via a twitch in your eye.
If that doesn't freak him out, just blame it on your dog and hey presto, you're a rich guy with a bag of cash!
Finally, celebrate getting away without going to prison by getting a facelift with all the cash you scammed the taxman out of. It's either that or looking like this for the rest of your life...
- One dog